Five Contraceptives I’m Thrilled To Never Use Again

Contraception? I’ve tried them all, and, to be honest, some worked well… but some didn’t and I’ve got children to prove it.

I remember the first time I was pregnant – accidental and two forms of contraception didn’t work – I was thrilled as suddenly I didn’t have to use contraception or worry about getting pregnant.

‘Cos I already was.

These days I don’t need contraception either, thanks to my marvellous menopause. It may have made me much more susceptible to actual anxiety, but my periods have stopped.

You beauty!  I haven’t had one for two or three years and I couldn’t be more delighted.

My beloved husband did have a vasectomy a few years before actually.  So there was no need for contraception … unless I’d had an affair with some other bloke. Which I didn’t, I must admit.

But even if I did have an affair one day, I still wouldn’t need to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Relief.

Here are the five contraceptives I am so glad not to ever have to use again…..

 

The Diaphragm

When I started using this my friend Jane said I’d hate ‘the sensation of trifle dribbling down your leg.’ And she was right. The combination of semen and contraceptive jelly is not pleasant at all when combined with gravity: shudder.

Jane also asked: ‘Aren’t you worried that by the time you’ve got it in, the prospective man will have escaped.’

No Jane, I wasn’t… all my boyfriends would have waited for hours for me to slide that little cap into place. Some did.

 

Condoms

Well, you have to remember to have them to hand… or your fella does.  And they leave a nasty taste behind, should you be warming up for a second moment of passion. Those were the days.

They’re just not reliable… they split, they disappear off to remote locations…. After the first failure of a condom (son number one) we never used them again. Whew.

 

The Morning After Pill

Well, it also doesn’t always work. Trust me I know.  Mind you, it’s always best to take it the morning after, not the morning after the morning after. Or so I learned.

Also, strong hormones disrupting your body… not as much as a pregnancy does, mind you.

 

The Coil

Oh dear, oh yes. I used a coil between each of my three pregnancies and then for five years afterwards.  Thy actually weren’t too bad once they were in the right place. It was just the getting them in and out that created mayhem.

You see, it turns out that my cervix is deep within and slightly to the right. Too much information?

Getting the blessed coil through and into the womb was PAINFUL… ouch… squirming at the memories.

Getting one out was much worse though. I though I hadn’t managed to feel the little cord that should be through the cervix. It had whipped back through and was hiding.

‘I’ll need to use the fishing rod,’ said the kindly gynae, whom I loved for his nice warm hands.

Worse still, I had a hyperactive two and a half year old in the room with me whilst it was removed by the fishing-rod-through-the-cervix method.

I can’t believe I ever had sex again.  Having babies was pain free by comparison.  Just kidding.

 

Sit Up and Cough

Handy when you have no contraception around and you just can’t help yourself.  However, this contraception is not recommended although I have to say it was 100% effective for me on the few occasions I tried it. Thank goodness.

What about the pill? I didn’t use it much, to be honest. If I was a young girl now, I might try those three month rods….

What about you?

What contraceptives have you loved and loathed?

Ha ha, the memories!

Seana xx

 

Linking up with Kylie Purtell for IBOT, pop over!

Suffering is Optional?

 

Suffering is optional?

Really?

I’ve seen the quote above dozens of times on Facebook and Instagram. Usually it’s anonymous, sometimes some would-be wise person claims it as their own.

And whilst the meaning is clear… we chose how much we suffer because of the inevitable difficulties and disasters we face… it just doesn’t ring true for me….

That’s not my experience of life.

People suffer when there’s pain… I suffer when there’s family chaos, uncertainty and distress.

What I work on is the degree of suffering… on reining in the ‘Poor me’ laments.

Currently there’s plenty of chaos here as Casa Catastrophe, and there’s uncertainty.

Teenagers being… typical teenagers…. I can’t say more except that it involves splitting time between two cities and a fair whack of worry.

Son with ASD struggling a lot some days.

Husband looking for work which means that I don’t know where he might have to go off to… and there’s a strong chance we all might have to move far, far away….

I do call my friends in tears and when we meet, they hear a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth. 

Thank you lovely, kind and wise chums.  Your listening to my woes helps me get them out, out, out of my head. I need to express some pain to get rid of it.

A friend yesterday talked to me about my issues with authority (thanks Dad) and discussing that with her has thrown light on a huge life issue for me and has also helped the winds of change start to whistle their way through.

The trick is not staying stuck in the pain.

I’m talking, talking, talking and swimming, swimming, swimming… and slowing down…  putting family connection first.

A winter’s swim at Collaroy pool yesterday certainly got the heart going, burned off some adrenaline and connected me to the natural world and my own body’s place within it.

All this is healing and calming.

So, I’m not beating myself up for the circling thoughts and sleepless nights. There’s no glossing over real life.

Am just aiming not to get caught up in it, and not to buy into it, not to believe in it.

Friends are my salvation and gratitude, starting with giving thanks to them.

 

Is suffering optional for you?

What are your methods of dealing with life’s pains?

Seana xx

 

Linking up with IBOT with Kylie Purtell

 

 

 

How To Stay Calm: One Little Thing

Here’s a wee something I’ve done in an attempt to make my phone my slave, rather than it owning me.

I’ve moved  the email apps off the home screen and onto the fourth and final screen.

What a small thing: what a huge change.

You see, my phone isn’t really a phone, it’s a mini computer in my handbag. The whole family’s workings can be run through that phone… so long as I’ve got my glasses on….

My blog and all other business can all come at me through that phone too.

Organising Our Lives On Email

Email is where all my organising happens, with one address for home/family and one for work.

My Mac Mail gets all the school and sport emails, all the bills, library reminders and social stuff for all the kids and myself.

My Gmail addresses and aliases get a million press releases, all my bloggy and writing work matters and the newsletters I like to read.

These emails make up my TO DO list really... and it can all get overwhelming…. even though I have decluttered the email inboxes as much as is possible.

Anyway, I used to see the emails popping up on the phone home screen when I was out and about and generally on the run. Too much!

Now I don’t... I have to make the conscious decision to find out if I have emails. I aim in fact to deal with them all whilst sitting at my desk.

Emails relegated to fifth page!

This means they don’t distract me when I am with the kids and want to have a real focus on them and connection to them.

If I need to I can flick through the screens to check the emails and can reply. But I aim not to do that on the run any more.

My head got too cluttered.

Relief!

Very little is really vital in life.

I’m not letting emails and social media harass me any more when I’m away from my desk.  The kids harass me quite enough already.

Do you have one simple things that helps keep you calm?

Cheers

Seana xx